The Proper Order of Love

And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

- Mark 12:28-31

I feel like I’ve been on a pretty interesting journey over the last two years. There’s been a lot of favor from the Lord—open doors, opportunities, relationships I never would’ve pictured having. There’s been a lot of “good,” or what many looking from the outside in would call good.

As I’ve pondered the last two years of life—marriage, family, relationships, and ministry—I’ve come to recognize something: in the hardest moments, the point of origin has often been a twisting of the text above.

There’s a divine order established there. God is supreme. You must love Him with all of you, above everything else. Then you love your neighbor as yourself. The twisting I’ve come to see very clearly is this: a growing love for self that willingly puts our desires and wants above the mandate to love the Lord fully and completely.

I’ve seen the love of self run people into complete breakdown—clothing them in depression and comparison. I’ve seen it break relationships, because when the love of self is primary, jealousy is almost always present. I’ve seen it destroy churches, movements, and denominations, because loving self above all else drives people to fulfill their desires above everything else, regardless of how profane those desires may be. I’ve witnessed the love of self break covenant relationships, because when you put yourself first and choose to live unhealed, shame and rejection will almost always become the lenses you view the people around you through.

The exposure of the last two years (and what is to come) is showing the body of Christ—if we’re paying attention—the dangers of putting ourselves, our needs, and our wants above the command to love the Lord above all else.

Jesus said it plainly: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23). But self-denial—a real dying to our flesh, our desires, and our expectations in order to set our focus on what Jesus desires for us—that cross is being chosen less and less.

So as we walk through 2026, let’s do so with a personal death certificate in one hand and a cross in the other. May we sing our own funeral dirge with great joy, because we’ve embraced the Mark 12 commands in their proper order.